Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Little Family Dramas

OMG, shoot me now!  Really, guys, how much more do you think I can shoulder before they just absolutely collapse under the weight?  And by "guys" I mean the people under the roof with me right now.  I'm walking a fine line between Greg and his sister who is staying with us right now.  He doesn't want his family to know he's leaving his job, but she's down here trying to figure out what is next for her family, who are needing/wanting financial assistance and thinking we should be in a good position to give it to her.  Of course, that would be awkward under any circumstances, but it's made worse because how do I explain to her that I'm not so sure we're not going to be living under a bridge without telling her why?  Okay, that's not true, I admit it.  But, if it comes to it, I'll go back to Pittsburgh and live under one of those bridges at least - they have a lot of them, and some are conveniently located near Heinz Field, so maybe that's not such a bad Life Plan.  But, the bottom line that is true:  no, I am not in a position to invest in real estate that her family can live in.  While I know that it may seem totally reasonable for someone to think I might be thinking of investing along that vein, yeah, well, not right now.  Right now, I am seriously worried about hanging onto this piece of real estate.

And, right now, this piece of real estate is in utter chaos.  I've got boxes of Mother's things all over the place, Greg's bringing home his office things (try explaining that to his sister!), Marissa has to be out of her dorm by the end of the week and has been gradually bringing her things home.  Really, I guess none of that matters all that much - it's temporary, it'll eventually get sorted and absorbed, but the physical chaos adds to the mental turmoil, and I feel fidgety and unsettled.

It's so weird that after whining all my life about not having a larger family, I would now like to be as far away from this little drama as possible.   I find myself building a high degree of resentment toward the man who fathered my children.  Yet, I continue to be reticent to speak to him openly and honestly.  For one thing, he's easily irritated lately, which irritates me in turn.  But, I also know - and share - the reason he's seeking a drastic change.  What if he's right?  What if this is the only way he can see his way up this deep, deep well we're in?  Doesn't he have the right to hoist himself up?  Yes, he does.  So do I.  At what point do we need to be physically apart to do that successfully?  I think time would answer all of these questions, but the reality of modern life is that bills don't wait.  Such weighty questions, and I feel so flighty.  What's a girl aging woman to do?

1 comment:

  1. You know I am the first to admit that I am a pretty egotistical person, but DAMN, asking someone for money (to "invest") who just lost their mother and has been going through hell for a year, cuz that would fix things for them - that is some special kinda head up ass.

    Just say "no".